It is so easy to lose yourself and conform to what others want you to be if you aren’t deeply rooted.
There will always be unhappiness as you pretend that you are happy because you are doing what others want or what is expected of you. However, when you have to be alone with your thoughts, which is usually when you’re awake at night tossing and turning, you struggle with what is truly defining your happiness.
Everyday I am reading some list telling me what I should do, shouldn’t do, try, experience, etc. now that I am in my 20’s. These lists can be very informative, interesting, or depressing. I realize though, that everyone is struggling to find their happiness. Sometimes I found myself tiptoeing around others and other times I find myself not giving a care, saying whats on my mind and leaving it at that. Both end of the spectrums can be good and bad.
I want, for myself to be happy. Happy being myself. I find myself feeding off of the energy of others to find that joy, but I am often not looking into myself to find it. This New Year begins a new start for me, or an attempt at a new start.
Sometimes, its okay to be alone with your thoughts and to reflect. Its actually important to do that often. I am excited to focus on myself and to figure out my inner beauty and find my inner strength that I have somehow seem to lost.
I have found out about myself that I really do not like to:
1. Say no to others
2. Be alone
3. Focus on me
This year I hope to learn that:
1. Sometimes saying no is necessary because, its okay to say no. Simple as that.
2. Self reflection is important and that sometimes it takes being alone with your thoughts to that.
3. Focusing on me to achieve my ultimate goals and my ultimate dreams to achieve…. you guessed it… my OWN happiness.
I have found that God has to be the center of my life. I have to love myself. I have to be happy with myself. Then, I can truly be able to