Two Front Teeth 

Today at work, I passed by a child who was missing both of their front two teeth. They smiled the biggest smile and I’m pretty sure the tooth fairy gave them big bills.

Seeing this child, I was reminded of the time when I lost my front two teeth. It was traumatic, Dramatic, Filled with guilt, and I the tooth fair gave me big bills.

It was bath time. It had to be on a weekend or a day I was out of school because my mom was at work and my dad was playing the role of Mr. Mom. 

My dad, being responsible, felt as if you left  me alone in the bathtub for a second… I would automatically drown. 

Fair enough….. I was around 3 or 4. Being this age, the fact that I had to be taking a bath and in the middle of the day made me livid.

As my dad was trying to get me to be still. I became more unsettled. I didn’t see a point of me being in the bathtub in the first place. 

The bathroom at this house was what I imagine an old asylum to be like. Everything was white. The walls, the tile, the cabinets, everything was as white as snow…it was also frigid. 

Once I decided I was over it. I remember making a beeline to get out. My dad, who had reflexes like a cat, caught me before I managed to hurdle over the tub to break free from the what I thought was a waste of water–I was very environmentally responsible at age 3. However, through blocking me from achieving my Olympic winning bathtub hurdle, my dad blocked me with a towel to dry off. In doing so,my dads cat like reflexes did not focus on what necessarily he was blocking until I let out this scream! 

As stated before, everything in this bathroom was white… Including the bath towels. Then I realized my dads face turned ghost white as well. 

The white towel quick covered my face. 

“Oh my God… What have I done?!”

My dad basically accidentally punched me in the mouth knocking out my front two teeth instantly. 

You know that cry you see babies do where they let out a blood curdling screech… Then they take a silent breath for about 3.5 seconds before letting out the next blood curdling screech?? That was me.

“Daddy! You punched me! You punched me and my teeth came ou!!… Why would you punch me?!!!”

I remember the look on my dads face as he tried to stop the bleeding. The white bathroom had become a crime scene.

My front two teeth weren’t even loose. 

I remember the panic on his face. 

After the commotion settled… I was dressed and toothless. He took me for a walk as he would us usually do. He explained to me that he was sorry for making me “snaggletoothed” but the tooth fairy was going to be extra special this time.

The tooth fairy left me $5.